Tuesday, August 18, 2009

late night lunacy...

Ok - so I've been dealing with a major bout of PMS (sorry guys) so what do I do? I watch a movie I've never seen before about Apartheid called "The Power Of One" Have you seen it? What a CRAPPY trailer for a great movie. I will admit the last 3 minutes of the movie left me with a "what?" but....WHAT WAS I THINKING? As great as it was - it was a real heart wrencher. I'm on a spiral now of non sleep mental obsession about everything.

Race being at the top of the list (as usual). I don't get and could never get and never will get why a color of someones skin makes a bit of difference anywhere. Of course history doesn't agree with me. And neither do so many people in this world. No matter how much I read, see, learn or hear I just can't wrap my head around it. Am I ignorant? Hell yeah! Of course I am.

In my quest to "learn" more so I can better understand what the future holds for my biracial daughter, I have been told many things - the worst of which was "you'll never know because you live with white privilege" and then I got jumped on by a bunch of people who really just wanted to hate the white girl in the room - and teach her a lesson. But you know what people - TELLING me why it is what it is, and how things got to be this screwed up, and why I am part of the problem because I'm white and I have a job (yes, someone said that - I suppose I'm not the only ignorant nut on the tree afterall) it's somehow my fault is NOT A SOLUTION. This is treating in some thick, greasy, tar-like, deep as the ocean water. I've said it before and I'll say it again - I'm ignorant to many things - but I'm open to learn and better myself - are you? How can bitching and complaining be a solution?

I'll expose myself here because, well, if you know me you know I have no skeletons in my closet - and if I find one it's because my children have eaten my brain and i just plain forgot it was there... but let me ask...

Have you ever been pick pocketed?
Have you ever been mugged at knife point?
Have you been a victim of sexual harassment?
Have you been a victim of a sexual assault?
Have you ever held the hand of a good friend while he cries about a terminal diagnosis?
Have you been accused of racism?
Have you ever picked up a loved one off the floor after a sexual assault?
Have you been laid off?
Have you been a complete outcast in 3rd grade? So bad you considered suicide in 4th?
Have you ever prayed that something would kill you so that people would notice what the truth was?
Have you ever brought a loved one to the ER for a severe PTSD episode and had armed guards watch you?
Have you been divorced?
Have you sat your child down and explained why Daddy isn't there?
Have you been a single Mom?
Have you seen your parent die?

If you said yes to any of these things - there is a SLIGHT chance I may know where you are coming from, and you me - and you know what? These things effect everyone differently so the slight chance becomes even smaller. My list could be longer - and yours may be longer than mine - but WE ALL HAVE LISTS. Out future is carved by how these lists effect us, what we hold onto, what we let go, what we use to grow from. (What we spend thousands of dollars in therapy to stop obsessing over)

So - telling me because I am white I have no idea what pain is - and discounting my honesty in wanting to learn and understand just plain pisses me off. (I'm tired and can't think of a nicer way to put that) No, I have never once in my life had skin darker than a fish belly. But Have you ever had fish belly skin? Takes one to know one? Walk in my shoes? Spend a day in my life? Sound familiar? How long can we go on with this one? Another couple of centuries maybe?

So what to do? Who decides it's time to draw a line in the sand and step over it? To stop drowning in the past and make a better future for everyone?

On the radio the other day a talk show host said something to the effect of: "we try to teach our children everything we have learned so that they don't have to learn those lessons the hard way - to have a head start - and hopefully be better than we are".

Teaching kids to hate, supporting their hatred in any way shape of form is what I can not understand. Why can't I be in the generation that makes a change? (I won't get all Obama on you trust me) But seriously - If we constantly look back how can we move forward?

Now, back to the program - the MOVIE (remember the movie?) This movie struck me so hard because this boys life was in turmoil because of race - and because he was raised "colorblind" he is somewhat like me - never understanding why. I certainly wasn't raised in a mixed community - but my classes were - I, once again, being my ignorant self, just thought kids who lived in Boston were black - so what? People in my neighborhood were Italian, and the people on the other side of the pike were Jewish, and so on, and so on... But the bottom line is I wasn't raised to hate. I'm not quite sure how my Dad would feel about that, but he's been gone for so very long and my Mom was a big influence for me. She was honest when I told her I was dating a black man (not the first time) and told me she was worried about how people would treat us. And I have seen some of that. My husband tells me the best way to handle people like that is to be a loving happy family and people will learn. Words of wisdom.

So, now that I've got all of that out of my system - I'm going to let you all weigh in. If you want. Tell me I'm ignorant - it's OK - I can take it - and I already know I am EXTREMELY ignorant in many ways - but I'm open to change and grow with my children's interests at heart.


Monday, August 17, 2009


How do you "greet" people? Do you consider it? Do you run and say hello to newcomers when they arrive, or wait until they come and greet you?

I recently went to an event where I was not a "primary" group member. In my groups, we all say hello when we see a new person has arrived, even in some cases when we don't know that person, we introduce ourselves. Isn't this what you are supposed to do?

So I arrive, and no one greets me. I greet some, make a general "hello" to everybody - all of whom know me, and I know them, yet still they all staying in their places, talking to their neighbors, and not wasting their time by breaking their normal ways of being by associating with me.

Did I smell?
Was I rude?

Nope - this is the way this group survives, and why I don't run to their gatherings as quickly as I might others. I only go for a few precious people who ask me to be there.

So I went, I stuck around, and I left without a word to anyone who didn't have the time for me.

I also left feeling very lonely and hurt even though I know this is just the nature of the group, and I expected it.

How is it that people, who are decendants of group loving social animals can behave this way? Is this the future of humans? I certainly hope not...

So when you are at your next function, gathering, or tea party - make an effort to introduce yourself, say hello to people as they arrive - take a minute to make someone feel welcome - it's good for your kharma.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Health Care Reform Homework

In efforts to educate myself I looked into the proposed bill...I suggest everyone consider it.



Item 4 Part C on page 59"enable electronic funds transfer, in order to allow automated reconciliation with the related health care payment and remittance advice"

Also See Item D on page 58 for eligibility of care based on financial responsibility

Now I have quite a headache, and I know you can't pull a few lines out of 1,018 page document - but I find it scary that these needles live in the haystack - and who decides how it is translated? I am trying to do my homework to make an informed decision, but man... this is not easy reading.

Here is an overview (someone else made the comments)
Pg 22 of the HC Bill MANDATES the Govt will audit books of ALL EMPLOYERS that self insure!!
Pg 30 Sec 123 of HC bill - THERE WILL BE A GOVT COMMITTEE that decides what treatments/benefits you get
Pg 29 lines 4-16 in the HC bill - YOUR HEALTHCARE IS RATIONED!!!
Pg 42 of HC Bill - The Health Choices Commissioner will choose your HC Benefits for you. You have no choice!
PG 50 Section 152 in HC bill - HC will be provided to ALL non US citizens, illegal or otherwise
Pg 58HC Bill - Govt will have real-time access 2 individs finances & a National ID Healthcard will be issued!
Pg 59 HC Bill lines 21-24 Govt will have direct access to you banks accountsts for electronic funds transfer
PG 65 Sec 164 is a payoff subsidized plan for retirees and their families in unions & community orgs (ACORN).
Pg 72 Lines 8-14 Govt is creating an HC Exchange to bring private HC plans under Govt control.
PG 84 Sec 203 HC bill - Govt mandates ALL benefit packages for private health care plans in the Exchange
PG 85 Line 7 HC Bill - Specs for of Benefit Levels for Plans = The Govt will ration your Healthcare!
PG 91 Lines 4-7 HC Bill - Govt mandates linguistic appropropriate services. Example - Translationfor illegal aliens
Pg 95 HC Bill Lines 8-18 The Govt will use groups i.e., ACORN & Americorps to sign up individuals for Govt HC plan
PG 85 Line 7 HC Bill - Specs of Benefit Levels for Plans. #AARP members - your Health care WILL be rationed
PG 102 Lines 12-18 HC Bill - Medicaid Eligible Individuals will be automatically enrolled in Medicaid. No choice
pg 124 lines 24-25 HC No company can sue GOVT on price fixing. No "judicial review" against Govt Monopoly
pg 127 Lines 1-16 HC Bill - Doctors/ #AMA - The Govt will tell YOU what you can make.
Pg 145 Line 15-17 An Employer MUST automatiocally enroll employees into pubic option plan. NO CHOICE
Pg 126 Lines 22-25 Employers MUST pay for health care for part time employees AND their families.
Pg 149 Lines 16-24 ANY Employer with payroll of 400k & above who does not provide public option. pays 8% tax on all payroll
pg 150 Lines 9-13 Business payroll between 251k & 400k who doesn't provide public option pays 2-6% tax on all payroll
Pg 167 Lines 18-23 ANY individual who doesn't have acceptable health care according to Govt will be taxed 2.5% of income
Pg 170 Lines 1-3 HC Bill Any NON-RESIDENT Alien is exempt from individual taxes. (Americans will pay for their health care)
Pg 195 HC Bill -officers & employees of health care Administration (GOVT) will have access to ALL Americans financial/personal records
PG 203 Line 14-15 HC - "The tax imposed under this section shall not be treated as tax" Yes, it says that
Pg 239 Line 14-24 HC Bill Govt will reduce physician services for Medicaid. Seniors, low income, poor affected
Pg 241 Line 6-8 HC Bill - Doctors, doesn't matter what specialty you have, you'll all be paid the same
PG 253 Line 10-18 Govt sets value of Dr's time, professional judgment, etc. Literally value of humans.
PG 265 Sec 1131 Govt mandates & controls productivity for private health care industries
PG 268 Sec 1141 Fed Govt regulates rental & purchase of power driven wheelchairs
PG 272 SEC. 1145. TREATMENT OF CERTAIN CANCER HOSPITALS - Cancer patients - welcome to rationing!
Page 280 Sec 1151 The Govt will penalize hospitals for what Govt deems preventable readmissions.
Pg 298 Lines 9-11 Drs, treat a patient during initial admission that results in a re-admission- Govt will penalize you.
Pg 317 L 13-20 PROHIBITION on ownership/investmen t. Govt tells Drs. what/how much they can own.
Pg 317-318 lines 21-25,1-3 PROHIBITION on expansion- Govt is mandating hospitals cannot expandpg 321 2-13 Hospitals have opportunity to apply for exception BUT community input required. Can u say ACORN?!!
Pg335 L 16-25 Pg 336-339 - Govt mandates establishment of outcome based measures. Health care the way they want. Rationing
Pg 341 Lines 3-9 Govt has authority to disqualify Medicare Adv. Plans, HMOs, etc. Forcing people into Govt plan
Pg 354 Sec 1177 - Govt will RESTRICT enrollment of special needs people!
Pg 379 Sec 1191 Govt creates more bureaucracy - Telehealth Advisory Committee. Can you say health care by phone?
PG 425 Lines 4-12 Govt mandates Advance Care Planning Consult. Think Senior Citizens end of life
Pg 425 Lines 17-19 Govt will instruct & consult regarding living wills, durable powers of attorney. Mandatory!
PG 425 Lines 22-25, 426 Lines 1-3 Govt provides approved list of end of life resources, guiding you in death
PG 427 Lines 15-24 Govt mandates program for orders for end of life. The Govt has a say in how your life ends
Pg 429 Lines 1-9 An "adv. care planning consult" will be used frequently as patients health deteriorates
PG 429 Lines 10-12 "adv. care consultation" may include an ORDER for end of life plans. AN ORDER from GOV
Pg 429 Lines 13-25 - The govt will specify which Doctors can write an end of life order.
PG 430 Lines 11-15 The Govt will decide what level of treatment u will have at end of life
Pg 469 - Community Based Home Medical Services=Non profit orgs. Hello, ACORN Medical Svcs here!!?
Page 472 Lines 14-17 PAYMENT TO COMMUNITY-BASED ORG. 1 monthly payment to a community-based org. Like ACORN?
PG 489 Sec 1308 The Govt will cover Marriage & Family therapy. Which means they will insert Govt into your marriagePg 494-498 Govt will cover Mental Health Services including defining, creating, rationing those services

UGH... I should delete all the Acorn references where this person is obviously not a fan... but he is military and defending our country with his physical life, so I'll leave it the way he wrote it.