Facebook Friends

Ahhh.... It's September 11th and maybe I should be thinking more of THAT, but, I'm getting my mind off the day for a moment to be bitchy. Bitchy is easy for me so I'll just get right to the point. How many "friends" do you have on Facebook? Plus or minus 100? I have to admit - at one point I thought I was little miss FB Popularity until I realised half of my "friends" friended me because they wanted to share nests for egg collecting. If you have never played Hatchlings - don't start - it's addicting and I have beaten my addiction and moved on to blogging... so in truth, I'm just as big a loser as the next person.

ANYWHO - when I realised the "loser" truth, I decided to be honest and thin the friend list. I kept a precious few "eggie" friends because I had gotten to "know" them through Facebook. I was under 100. **GASP** could I stand that? Would people JUDGE me? I don't give a shit really - judge away.

As I thinned, I started feeling guilty and keeping some people I really don't "need" to keep - like my first "real" boyfriend. Why? I don't know - he dumped me without a word in 10th grade and I really don't think knowing him now through Facebook is going to change the world, but my kids are cute so you know what? He can see my pics and realised what he threw away! (This of course would be more effective if his kids weren't equally adorable) and there is always the few high school friends who you always thought hated you and they friended you, the friends of friends who you met once at a barbecue, and some neighborhood people you didn't feel confident enough not to accept the friend request in fear you won't be invited to that block party that never happens. Whatever - you never know when networking may pay off right?

Now, I have thinned it down to people I really consider Facebook Friends - which doesn't really mean "real" friends now does it? Is this too complicated? Well if you think so, there is an Application of Facebook called "Best Friends" so you can sort out the best ones, and leave the others feeling like the last ones chosen at the dodge ball game. So for that I don't list "best" friends - just to save feelings, like some others I keep as friends so they don't one day notice I'm not on their list anymore and they feel so rejected they can't eat for a week.

The biggest things that baffle me are:

Photography: I have to think long and hard about some of my friends who love to take pics of themselves positioned in front of the bathroom mirror looking sexy with their boobs hanging out, tousled hair and kissy face lips. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. If you are one of these, and remain on my friends list congratulations - there must be something I love about you to keep you around because some of these photos make me cringe for fear of your future - but c'est la vie! Your page, your pic, your choice.

Language: Often I have to rethink friends for their colorful commentary and use of improper or vulgar language but shit - whaddaya want frum me anywayz? I ain't no friggin' scollar! (for future reference - I usually forget to spellcheck before I post so I'm sure that last statement will blend in with the rest of my butchery of the English language).

THEIR friends list: What is their crowd like? Do you want to peruse their list before accepting their friendship? Are they the "cool kids" are their people on the list you don't want to know YOU exist? Are there people on their list you WANT to look at or hear from? Of course these same people may have already blocked you so you may have no control over that.

My favorite person I did NOT friend is "a guy I once knew" no - not an ex boyfriend - and old acquaintance of my husband. This person who is so extremely full of himself and thinks he is so wonderful, and in reality - he is a shithead. YES I DID say that. I've heard enough and listened to him talk just enough to know this is true. I saw him on a friend list of a friend (I'm now wondering how many times I've put the i after the e as I write friend a million times here with my dyslexic typing skills...) I click on him out of curiosity - you do it too - admit it - and he had 700+ friends - I just looked and he's down to 500 some odd and I'm wondering if he too thinned his list or people are just catching on.... but my point - he must LOVE being in the 500+ club - but sadly, most of those people friended him to see WHO these people are that he considers FRIENDS. I am proud to say I am not one, and not so proud to say I check his page out occasionally to make sure I made the right decision... and things remain the same....

SO - for those of you with kids, relatives, coworkers, or associations who should be kept safely away from sexual references, bad language and the like - or just shitheads - choose your Facebook friends wisely - many of us forget who we friended for the sake of Facebook popularity and just plain don't know how to censor ourselves - or, use spellcheck.

ciao!